After
by sammy55
Summary: Post 3x22. Regina feels as if she has lost everything and her resilient heart finally breaks. Leaving the diner, she has the break down that has been decades in the making.


**This is Regina centric, but will have a Part 2 featuring Henry. I do actually want this to happen in the show, because I think Regina deserves an opportunity to let all of her feelings out. **

**I do not own OUAT or its characters. This was written in an hour and probably contains mistakes I missed, feel free to let me know about them. Enjoy.**

Regina escaped from the diner and headed towards her house before the blonde moron could offer an apology. She didn't want one, not now, not after everything was already ruined.

Hopefully no one would be stupid enough to follow her. There were few people who would even care enough to follow her. Robin was wrapped up with his now living wife, Henry hadn't even noticed what had happened, and she had left the idiotic Sheriff standing with a shocked look on her face, her brain apparently short circuited at the thought of her good deed going bad.

Her bottom lip was going have permanent teeth marks given how hard she was biting down on it to try to prevent any tears from escaping. By the time she reached her front walkway, she was nearly sprinting in her desperate need to get to a safe place.

She shut her front door behind her, stopping for a moment to lean against it and try to gather some control. When that failed, she walked into her study, grabbing a glass and the strongest alcohol she had.

Her hand shook as she tried to pour it, spilling the liquid on her table, some of it splashing up and staining her coat. Slamming the bottle back onto the counter, her hands found the edge and gripped it until her knuckles turned white. The trembling grew throughout Regina's body until her knees buckled and she sank down onto them, gripping her hair to try to ground herself.

She shouldn't be this upset. They had known each other for only a year and had been dating for just a few weeks. But it was what he represented - her second chance, her happy ending and her new beginning - that was the cause of her devastation.

It was just another failure to add to her life of unhappy events. Just one more time she opened herself up to happiness, only to have her hopes crushed.

The previous failures flashed to the forefront of her mind, adding to the pain that had surrounded her heart.

_Her mother stared down at her, eyes hard as flint. Her cheek still stung from the slap that had been delivered, though she managed to blink back the tears. "A lady does not use that type of language Regina. You should know better. No one will want to marry a heathen."_

_Her mother once again standing over her, fist clenched from crushing Daniel's heart. Her throat had closed from shock as she grasped at her fiancés now still body. Just one more night of secrecy and she could have escaped, could have been happy._

_Sitting in the corner of the ballroom, she watched as her husband danced with his daughter. If she was lucky, he would dance with her once that night, for appearances. But it was more likely that she would walk back to her rooms, feeling the walls close in on her in her loneliness. _

_She hadn't felt this pain in such a long time. Henry had brought such a light into her life, lifted her spirit. When she arrived home to find him missing, she felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest, clutched in an indistinct hand. Realizing that he had run away from her, to find his _real_ mother, had stripped her of her carefully controlled persona. _

_She sat in that car for some time, sobbing and staring at the bench. She had been trying so hard to be good, to be worthy of Henry. She had risked her life and Henry's to save Snow and Emma, and just a short time after, they had turned on her. Worse, they had poisoned Henry against her. She had no one, nowhere to go. So she sat in her car and desperately wished for a miracle._

_Forcing herself to release him, she kissed Henry once more on the forehead before locking her emotions behind an iron door so she could do what was needed. What was worse - dying now or living without the one light point in her life?_

And now, after opening her heart to the possibility of love, she had been let down once again. Emma Swan seemed determined to unknowingly ruin her life.

She was hurt. Emma and her had grown closer, magic lessons and Henry bringing them to an almost friendship. But today, not only had she refused to talk about her plans with Henry, instead running away once again, she had also fiddled with history and brought back someone who was supposed to be dead.

Just like her mother. Never thinking of the consequences. All magic had a price, and the former Evil Queen always seemed to be the one who paid it.

Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, so she used an old solution to clear her mind. Standing up and turning, she utilized the swirling feelings within her, pushing her magic out of her and towards the fireplace.

As new flames began to eat at the logs, Regina was left staring at her hands, a cold feeling taking root in her stomach. Swallowing around a nervous lump in her throat, she closed her eyes before calling forth her magic into her palm.

Bracing herself, Regina opened her eyes and looked.

Her magic was dark purple once more.

A harsh cry tore itself from her throat. and she threw the magic away from her, not noticing how the impact left a large hole in her mantle. She frantically searched for that source of light magic, waiting for the warmth of it to ease her pain and panic.

It was nowhere within her.

Now she truly broke, collapsing into a heap on the floor of her study, covering her mouth with her hands. Light magic had been confirmation that she was finally doing something right. Created by her overwhelming love for Henry and her hope for an actual family relationship, Regina had marveled at the gentle heat it generated, instead of the addictive black ooze that had been her companion for so many years.

Now faced with the simultaneous loss of so many things, another betrayal to add to the list, her emotions grew out of control. A shockwave of magic exploded from her, shaking the house and shattering all the glass in the room.

The sound of glass falling around her excited the former Queen, and Regina finally gave in, flinging out her arms and blowing out several windows, allowing her rage to take hold of her in the privacy of her own home.

Her breakdown continued for some time, her magic destroying nearly everything in her study. Glass littered the ground, holes were punched through the walls, the seating was crushed into piles of wood and cloth.

In the end, she was left leaning against the door to her now decimated study. Tears streamed unchecked down her tired face and she closed her eyes, exhaustion - physical and emotional - weighing down every bone in her body.

The only thought on her mind was that she needed to clean this up before Henry came home.

If he even noticed her absence.

**There you have it! Like I said, a second part will be added within a few days as long as my muse is speaking to me. Please leave a review letting me know what you think, or your opinions on how Henry should react. **


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